Introduction
The origin of love is Allah itself, one of the names of Allah SWT is ‘Al-wagged’, the most affectionate. Through all his attributes, Allah [SWT] teaches us what affection is; nobody can love us as he does. What it all means is that it says that love feeling is not a sin but how people try to express it. For instance, the love of Allah is the most beautiful love anyone can feel in this world, yet there is also the love of power, which brings destruction to nations.
It is very true that to love the right thing in the right manner is perhaps the secret to having a beautiful life, as well as making the lives of those in contact with us beautiful. Marrkazul Irrshaad Wa Tawjeeh provides valuable insights into the teachings of Islam regarding love and marriage. Being in love with the wrong person in the wrong manner can be detrimental to you and the people around you, which is why it is essential to follow the guidance of Islam in such matters.
It is not wrong in Islam to get married to somebody you love. Feelings may be desire, passion, or love towards another person or a person may admire someone.
Narration from Ibn e Abbas
It was narrated from Ibn Abbas that the Prophet [S.A.W] said: In an Islamic understanding, to those who love one another, there is nothing like marriage. ” ~[Sunan ibn majah 1847]
This hadith alone points out that there is love before marriage. It is not sinful to have emotions, to lose someone, or to love someone and wish to take that person as your spouse.
As long as one does not do unlawful things such as dating, being alone, or engaging in the intimate act of intercourse, it also proves that nothing is better, more chaste than marriage if two people love one another; if a person loves someone, he or she should marry that person.
Maintaining Purity in Attraction and Intentions in Islam
Attraction is a predisposition that is easy for us to notice since it is an automatic reaction. However, if such emotions result in conduct that is unlawful in the sight of Allah they then become sinful. It is quite challenging to know how to find a spouse in Islam as there could be restrictions also. As far as feelings are concerned one needs to notice that feelings per se are not considered haram even if one acts based on them inappropriately.
It is true that exercising restraint in the face of temptation never quite seals the deal – it always sounds easier on paper. That is why when our hearts are pulled towards something it becomes extremely difficult to turn a blind eye to those emotions. Some might ask, “How could I have feelings for somebody and never talk to them and hardly look at them at all?” Simply, you do not have to break the rules of Allah.
Permissions for a Man in Islam Regarding His Choice to Love
If a man wants a shariah permissible proposal of marriage to a woman, this system permits a man to speak to her and look at her. This should however be done in the right company which could be in the presence of her father, brother, mother or any other close male relative and not one on one. But if he is not planning to marry her there is no justification as to why he should engage in such manners. The guidance is clear: if there were real intentions of marriage, these actions are acceptable. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) conveyed this understanding through the hadith narrated by Jaabir ibn Abd-Allaah (RA), where he said:
“If one among you proposes to a woman, he can glance at her and see something that makes him want to marry her then he should proceed to do so”.
— [Al Saheeh of Abi Dawood, no. 1832, 1834]
There is also the need to understand that love when results in haram things or a marriage based on the disobedience of Allah is not blessed. On the other hand, the marriage that is accepted by Allah brings barakah (blessing), and comfort and enshrouds with calmness. Before moving with his Allaah’s permission to the seventh Heaven he was married and he abhorred divorce and the creation of an unhappy home; but in his wisdom, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said that the best of companions to share one’s life with is characterized by sakina (tranquility), mawaddah (love and affection) and Rahma (mercy). It can therefore be agreed that these are values as played out defining, a successful and harmonious marital relationship.
Islamic Guidelines for Marriage Proposals: Maintaining Modesty and Integrity
If a man finds out that a woman has good character, is virtuous and knowledgeable, the man would want to marry her. Likewise, a woman might get to learn about a man’s good character, virtue, knowledge and religiosity and the woman would be eager to be his wife. Nevertheless, any kind of interaction between the two when done in ways that are forbidden in Islam may result to adverse effects.
In this kind of case, it is unlawful for the man to directly communicate to the woman or for the woman to talk to the man in order to make proposals of marriage. However, the right Islamic way is that the man should make the intention known to the woman’s wali or the woman through her wali informs her of her desire to marry the man. When a woman approaches a man directly then it may result in fitnah and that is not good according to the saying of Ibn Al-Qayyim in Rawdat al-Muhibbeen.
| Aspect | Details |
|---|
| Definition of Love in Islam | Love originates from Allah (SWT), one of whose names is ‘Al-Wagged’ (The Most Affectionate). True love should follow the guidance of Islam. |
| Different Forms of Love | Islam recognizes various forms of love, such as love for Allah, love for family, and love for fellow humans, all of which must be balanced. |
| Love Before Marriage | Love before marriage is not forbidden in Islam but must be expressed within boundaries that respect Islamic principles and modesty. |
| Misguided Love | Pursuing love based on worldly desires, like power or status, can lead to destructive consequences. |
| Guidance from Quran and Hadith | The Quran and Hadith emphasize the importance of maintaining purity and chastity in relationships before marriage. |
| Affection in Islam | Islam promotes affection and kindness in all aspects of life, especially between spouses, following the example of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). |
| Love Within Marriage | Marriage is the ideal framework for love to flourish in Islam, based on mutual respect, trust, and commitment to one another. |
| Spiritual Aspect | Loving someone for the sake of Allah (SWT) ensures that the love is pure, purposeful, and in line with Islamic values. |
Conclusion
A clear illustration of this can be seen in the story of our mother, Khadijah (R.A) who heard about Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) through her servant Maisarah in terms of his character, honesty, and morality. When she saw the character of the Prophet, Khadijah suggested to him to marry her through a friend. This example shows that it is not a must to have a date or spend a lot of time with someone one loves and admires; dating is not a must for a happy and blessed marriage in Islam.
Read Also: Dua to be Made After Nikah: A Spiritual Guide for Newly Married Couples
FAQs with Answers:
Q1) Is it permissible to feel love for someone before marriage in Islam?
Yes, in Islam, feeling love or attraction for someone before marriage is not considered sinful. However, it is crucial to maintain purity in intentions and actions. Any form of interaction that goes against Islamic principles, such as dating or being alone with the person, should be avoided. If two people love each other, marriage is encouraged as the lawful and blessed way to express that love.
Q2) What should a man do if he wishes to marry a woman he loves according to Islamic guidelines?
If a man wishes to marry a woman he loves, he should approach the matter respectfully and within the boundaries of Islamic teachings. Instead of directly contacting the woman, he should inform her wali (guardian) of his intentions. This approach ensures that the process remains dignified and free from actions that might lead to temptation or sin.
Q3) Can a woman express her desire to marry a man in Islam?
Yes, a woman can express her desire to marry a man in Islam. However, she should do so through her wali (guardian) rather than directly contacting the man. This method upholds the principles of modesty and prevents any situation that could lead to fitnah (temptation). An example of this is found in the story of Khadijah (RA), who proposed marriage to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) through a trusted friend.
